NYC Bigot Baker Sells Racist Cookies, Allegedly Threatens President

You know, sometimes it's the seemingly blissful ignorance of some racist assholes, whom I've been constantly advised to ignore, that really kick up my shit. And the sheer audacity of this one in particular drove me to hit the keys so hard, I think a few of them popped out of the board.

Ted Kefalinos, proprietor of the so-called trendy (It was featured on Sex and the City!)Lafayette French Pastry in Greenwich Village, has created a cookie called Drunken Negro Head honor of the President. Okay, now before I start to rip, let me first tell you a story which will explain my initial distrust of any Trendy Bakery That Was Featured On Sex And The City!

Several years back, a friend of mine insisted that I do them a big favor a trek down to Bleeker Street in The Village and stand on a ridiculuously long line at the Magnolia bakery and procure a few cupcakes which were supposed to be the shit because it existed at a Trendy Bakery That Was Featured On Sex In The City! So I wait on line for about an hour, and then jet downtown with the precious cargo of cupcakes secured in a cute white box, tied with a cute colorful ribbon.

Soon after I arrived at my friend's house, we opened the box, and there they were; the cupcakes that every trendoid north of WeHo had cancelled pap smears, dental appointments and cancer biopsy appointments for in order to stand in line. After what seemed like endless anticipation, we both reached into the box for a precious treat and lifted it to our mouths. I realized after taking a big bite that I had been punked. The shit was not only stale, it tasted like dry sugar bomb. I pictured a 3 year old who had been experimenting with a recipe that consisted of a 20 year old bag of flour, a five pound box of sugar, Play Doh and dot candy, and then shoved the mess into an Easy Bake Oven. And I still, to this day, want the money back that I wasted on a Metrocard.

So fuck trendy bakeries.

Okay now, back to Ted, The Racist Asshole Baker. Supposedly, he casually asked a customer if she would like a Drunken Negro head with her coffee. And that like Lincoln, President Obama will get what's coming to him. After being interviewed by Fox 5 NY's Arnold Diaz, Ted, The Racist Asshole Baker increduously insisted, at length, that he did nothing wrong. I guess you'll just have to see the newsclip to believe it.