THE TROUBLE WITH FANTASIA

For starters, I am a fan of Fantasia Barrino. A big fan. As I followed her progress as a contestant on American Idol, I basked in the glow of her angelic, high-pitched vocal tone and her ability to tear into a cover song, bending and rendering it into a creation which bore her own unique stamp. I soon also began to notice the parallels between her and Stephanie Mills, one of my all time favorite, albeit unsung singers. Like Stephanie, Fantasia didn't posess a particularly strong pop/crossover "look" and I began to wonder "What are they going to do with her", should she indeed win the competition. I always thought 'Tasia sounded very much like Stephanie, and that it would be great to hear her particular vocal style represented at the top of the charts again. Like Stephanie, Fantasia has also enjoyed successful recording and Broadway acclaim (The Color Purple), although Stephanie achieved her accolades on Broadway (The Wiz) before embarking on a recording career. However, this is where the similarities end.


















Fantasia did go on to win American Idol and soon enjoyed a brief, but fruitful stint under the management of Simon Cowell's 19 Management. She then released a slew of R&B chart-topping singles amidst confirmed rumors that she was functionally illiterate. She wrote a book about it. She made a Lifetime movie about it. We read, watched and identified with her struggles. She never apologized for being thought of as "country" or "too hood". She was keeping it real. Photos of her walking several red carpets reflected her "around-the- way style", which was refreshing and much needed in the tarnished brass age of pre-fab, so-called R&B "divas".

For a hot minute.

Then came the nasty, jail house tattoos which began to crawl up and down her arms and legs, and her tired fashion sense which screamed clearance rack at Strawberry. In my opinion, black ink tattoos on darker skin looks down right dirty and especially vile on women. Leave that thug ass shit to Tupac and Fitty, boo boo. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Her hairstyles looked like tragic ghetto outtakes from the BizzyBeez Hair N Nailz Spot in Backphuck, Tennesee. Is this what I had to look forward to from our newest, promising black star? Who was/is advising this woman? Did she just not get that along with fame comes a certain expectation to grow as an artist? I'm not saying she needs to forget her roots or sell her soul. Many artists have grown artistically and flourished by diversifying elements of their look and repertoire throughout their careers. For example, look how far Mary J. Blige has come from cracking a 40 during an interview to doing duets with Andrea Bocelli, yet she still retains her realness; She just had to refine some of that bad hometraining. Not every performance calls for constantly digging your intestines out, growling through a song, running up the ailses and hopping around the stage like you just showered in hot sauce, all the while flinging sweat and hot hair grease on the audience. Sure, when it works, getting down to the pure essence of soul and "sanging" is what it's all about. But please leave all that laying on the ground for the one person who can make it work. Patti LaBelle. It's her move and she uses it sparingly. And dare I say, more tastefully.

Now let's get to the crux of my missive. Last week, Fantasia was invited to perform at the Jackie Robinson Annual Awards Dinner, which was held at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in New York City. The event was attended by, judging from photos, a rather formal, sedate, mature and not to mention, mixed crowd. Lord, this chile showed up in a faux latex hoe-wrap mini dress designed by famewhore Kim Kardashian! Off the rack. From BeBe's. It appears that she then proceeded to take off her damn shoes and bounce from table to table, screaming her head off, much to the laughter and in some cases, consternation of the guests (see photo above).

I can't take it.

Again, I really like Fanny Mae, and I want nothing more than for her to succeed and grow into her considerable talents. I've followed her show on VH1, Fantasia For Real and hot mess that it is (don't even get me started on The Matter Of Teeny - oh snap, I smell a spin-off!), her humanity and warm, kind spirit breaks through. I want to one day experience her joy at accepting a Tony, or maybe even an Oscar after a soul-nourishing performance, dressed in the finest, most elegant attire befitting the regal African Queen that I know she is. I'd like for her trials and tribulations to dissipate, leaving her pure of spirit, which she could then project into song, for us, her fans. I want her to find the courage to discover new management and mentors who will strongly guide her and help her to overcome the basic obstacles which are preventing her from taking her career to the next level. She doesn't need to change her core values or beliefs. But show business is a game. She needs to learn how to "know her audience" and tailor her performances to fit various venues. In other words, to step up her own damn game, if she wants to continue to play.

And I don't want to see any more madness from her like this, at a formal event:


































Finally, I'd like to refer to three quotes from three very esteemed cultural sources:

"I question your taste level".
Nina Garcia, Project Runway

"I'm going to give you one last chance to impress me. Now the time has come....for you to lipsync......for your LIVES!"
RuPaul, RuPaul's Drag Race

"Girl, sit down and stop scaring those white people!"
Mother

Dog Saves Dog From A Dog Eat Dog World

Today was turning out to be a rather uninspiring one for me. I've been grappling with thoughts of what's next in terms of employment, greedy car makers, with regretful-looking downturned smiles on their faces begging Congress for money, while NeNe gets evicted (No Justice, No Peace!), VH1's Real Chance for Love and the continuing destruction of black civilization; no - make that all of "scripted reality" tv's effect on the destruction of civilization as a whole, condos sprouting up willy nilly like unwanted herpes outbreaks on the faces of neighborhoods I once loved, simultaneously driving up rents, and destroying the look of whole communties aesthetically while sucking out all of the soul, and the tired PR-planted gossip items about self-absorbed celebraddicts. No matter how many Obama posts I put up, I'm still faced with the fact that bloglife can be one big hopeless bore at times.

And then I come across something like this. Something so amazingly life-affirming, that my brain replays it over and over again, and although it might be upsetting for some, it managed to help me put some things into perspective . It's about an animal that I always thought embodied the spirit of unconditional love. I always tended to personify the few dogs I've had in my life, and treated them much like they were my children. Why do humans do this? I've seen the biggest guy approach the biggest lug of a dog and immediately commence to speak to it in his mushiest baby-talking voice, even going as far as giving giving it doggy tongue; those of you who love dogs with a fervor mostly associated with a Fred Phelps follower at an anti-fag rally will know what I mean by that term, and are completely unnapologetic about doing this. As for the reactions of people who don't care for canines, those of you who are cat lovers, save your "Ewww"s. Dogs rule. That's why Animal Planet's most popular show is called

It's Me Or The Dog - not cat.

Anyway, I now have hope that tomorrow all will be well with the world again. I'll troll for more gossip. Post more Obama stuff. Wallow in the misery that is reality tv. And continue to be a part of the woven threads that make up the basket into which some of us will placed and lowered into Hell. Yes, Life is Good. For now.

Celebrity Prostitutes: You Might Want To Turn Off Your TV

It pays to be a prostitute nowadays, I guess. But you knew that already, right? If you didn't, well, you should get out more. Or turn on your tv. Divine Brown and Ashley Dupre's

assignations with a famous actor and politician respectively, has brought them both a great deal of wealth for the former, and attention, for the latter. The jury's still out on any projected earning's for Ashley, as for Divine, according to her Wiki page, she's delcared herself a "millionairess" and has, allegedly, made enough money to put her kids through college and bought herself a four bedroom house. Ashley might go her one better if her upcoming interview with Diane Sawyer does anything to improve her brand status. Not bad work, if you can get it. And it's not surprising considering the glut of glorified hos, male and female, starring in "reality" shows like VH1's Flavor of Love, I Love New York, I Love Money, and one called Tila Tequila Sunrise or something like that, which I never had the chance to view. These shows definitely have their appeal, and I like to watch people act the fool and get down and dirty at times (like a lot people, I suppose it makes me feel better about myself, but that's between me and my therapist), but are your kids watching as well?

Some of the young 'uns in my family are well aware of shows like BET's College Hill, MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen and The Hills, and I have to wonder how they're putting it all into context. I hardly ever see them cracking a book like I used to when I was a kid, so what kind of adults will they turn out to be? I try to mentor them and talk about how reading a book transports me to places far more interesting and richly layered places than I could ever image some of the stuff I see on tv could ever take me, but their eyes just gloss over and they stare at me like I'm an alien from Planet Oblivion, which is actually how I'm viewing them.

I grew up in the late 60's & 70's and, of course, these same arguments were bandied about by the parents of my generation, and I'm sure that they, too were told that that's how it is, things were different and changing, and that The Kids Are Alright. I was young, wild and did my share of walking on the wild side, to boot.

And I ain't about to turn off my tv yet, either.