BEYONCE CLONES INVADE LONDON'S PICADILLY CIRCUS

If you ever had any doubt, there is now no way to deny that Beyonce has taken over the earth. Deal. Submit. Conform or perish, and all that.
Gotta say I'm impressed, though.

GET UR SCUZZ ON - AMY WINEHOUSE WANTS YOUR BABY, GIRL

Today's Dopeness: Okay, I'm not taking this too seriously, and I gotta admit that while I haven't exactly been all that motivated enough to post stuff lately, (I've been aggressively job and apartment hunting) this item has somewhat restored my faith in all things twisted and the picture alone has succeeded in making me laugh my ass off, cry, and throw up in my damn mouth - simultaneously. And say what you will, but I give homebiscuit credit for doing her and not being the least bit apologetic for showing out, ya heard?

Amy Winehouse (there's only one, y'all!) allegedly wants her a black baby of her very own, but has supposedly run into some problems with her - oh, phuck it - just go directly to the source.

SO.......WHAT'S NEW? NOTHING! WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE SUMTHIN' SUMTHIN'

There just hasn't been anything happening lately that has compelled me to post, save for the cancellation of D.L. Hughley's show on CNN, allegedly due to his comparing the RNC to Nazi Germany, the on-going Chris Brown/Rihanna Saga and Rush Limbaugh, who speaking of which, was called a coward by a Democratic Rep. Brad Sherman for not accepting his challenge to debate.

Which left more time for me to browse the n-ternets for interesting things to read. I was not disappointed, as I discovered a couple of blogs that I've taken an instant liking to, such as The Black Snob which true to its name, sated my appetite for smart snark on the chocolate side. Another blog I discovered by way of Racialicious is Honky Talk, which claims under its banner that

"This is an anti-racism blog with a message geared to white folks. The mission of Honky Talk is to facilitate a discussion of racism between white folks and people of color in a safe space. The goal of Honky Talk is to end racism in our minds, our community, our state, our nation and our world through the education and unification of all oppressed people."

Yeah, pretty heady, but interesting. I'll be checking on it. HONORABLE MENTION: Afro Nerd

Other than that, I've also been juicing up my iTunes library and generally obsessing over Traxsource, which seems to have a never-ending supply of house tracks to download and buy. So for now, I'll just enjoy the silence and nice weather we've been having here in NYC.


Oh, and the picture is a snapshot I took of a reworked ad for Watchmen in the Clinton/Washington station on the G line, here in BK.

Of Race And Sex.................

I came across this one over at copyranter via Gawker. A German ad agency is promoting race-conscious clay dioramas in the spirit of awareness (KKKlay-doh! Get it?!), but I dunno. It sure seems like a Klansman is tryna woo a gay dude. Hmmm.... I smell a set-up. Discuss, if you must.

Slumdog Child Star Beaten In Public By Dad

Azharuddin Mohammed, 10 year old star of the Oscar-winning smash Slumdog Millionaire, was subjected to a public beating today by his father who was frustrated by his son's refusal to comply with his wish to display him before an adoring public outside of the tent the family lived in.

No doubt exhausted from his recent travels and still riding high on what must have been a whirlwind of public appearances and interviews, combined with returning home to the realities of life in slums of Mumbai, maybe the kid just wanted to crash, you know?
Instead, he was treated to a hot dose of said reality, much like the one portrayed in the movie. After repeatedly slapping and kicking the boy, his father, Israel, then apologized.

"I was so confused and stressed by my son's homecoming that I did not know myself for a minute. I love my boy and I'm happy to have him home", he stated soon afterwards. Wow. Talk about life imitating art imitating life.

Read more about it here.

Jamie Foxx Rides With Opie, Blames It On The Alcohol

90's videoman extraordinaire Hype Williams hits you with a surrealistic mix of Hollyhood celeb cameos, including Quincy Jones, Samuel L. Jackson, Forest Whitaker, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Ron Howard(!), lesbian-lite, bourgie hoochies, and the ubiquitous T-Pain who, speaking of the nineties, seems determined to bring back the slo-mo-flash-2-bottles-of-overflowing-champangne-bottles-before-the-cameras move. No, wait. I think Hype already trademarked that shot back in the day. So.....is this what it's like to party large in LA? Whatever. It works for me.

On Blaming Rihanna: Um, Teens, Ur Doing It Wrong

There are actually a couple things I want to rant about this week - the whole Rihanna/Chris Brown affair and, of course,  New York Post Page Six cartoonist (and I use that term loosely) Sean Delonas's umpteenth failure in attempting to produce an image which reflects even the most minute trace of class or wit. I mean come on, if you've ever had the misfortune of viewing any of this man's work, you'd already know that he's a borderline talent or hack, at best. I've always found his style to be exceedingly repulsive and demoralizing in such a way that I'd experience a momentary lack of faith in humanity - and that is no mean feat. After all, as I mentioned in my previous post, I do have a taste for the horrific! That said, I'm glad the dialogue has been opened, and let's keep this up front - whether or not you find the cartoon in question to be racist, and it is, let us not forget that it also ran the day after the victim of the chimp attack had her whole damn face torn off!!

And speaking of battered faces, I find some of the reactions to the Chris Brown/Rihanna mess to be equally, if not more demoralizing. After gleaning the comments sections of some the most popular black entertainment sites, I started to feel as if there is no fucking hope for the current generation of African Americans, as I've read some of the most frighteningly idiotic comments from mostly female posters, who expressed their contempt for a victim of domestic violence. From accusations of "provoking" the attack to exposing Chris to herpes led the reasoning for such ignorant statements, and I simply had to stop reading in fear of my head exploding in frustration. I even got into a heated discussion with a few young female relatives of mine, who defended the perpetrator, all the while lying down on the tracks before the speeding train of perpetual ignorance and exclaiming that they don't believe everything they hear in the media. Granted. But why do I get the uneasy feeling that this is mostly the perception of mostly black teenagers? And throw in few young adults please, while you're at it.

Can this be the result of a basic lack of education? Home training? Perhaps it's contempt for the light-skinned black female, while simultaneously placing the light-skinned "fine" black male on a pedestal? Or is it the R Kelly Effect all over again? Why does the male, no matter what hue, always get a pass? Is it because of all the past pain and suffering and alleged burdens the black man has to shoulder play into it? My guess is it's a combination of all of these. I also believe that the way we perceive and portray ourselves in modern media culture, especially in music and television (hello Vh1!), has a lot to do with this. Constantly, in music videos and so-called reality shows, black females are shown debasing themselves to the extreme, eschewing any hunger and need for higher learning, professional achievement and self respect, all for the pleasure and entertainment of the male antagonist, in the hopes of winning his approval. The same applies to the whites in terms of these shows which portrays these women to be shrill, slutty, manipulative and lacking any semblance of integrity or class. Worse, we watch incredulously as they spout their own vapid reasons for wanting to participate in this sideshow. What's going on, people? Is it only entertainment? Clearly, much of what passes as reality TV is scripted, but I sincerely doubt that a lot of young kids who watch these shows can discern or even care to acknowledge this fact.

So, what can we do? It's pure and simple. Educate, educate, educate. Each one teach one. Make your kids pick up a damn book. It is the responsibility of the parents, got that? That's where it starts. That is all.

By the way, the Chicago Tribute has published an interesting article which touches on teens and their views on violence in relationships and the Chris/Rihanna affair. Check it out here.

President Obama Pays Homage To Beyonce's Single Ladies

Beyonce can rest a little easier now that she has the President's seal of approval. Singer John Legend has captured video of the President Obama working the crowd and greeting the R&B siren at the Concert on the Mall. The Huffington Post reported the following exchange after some light prodding from the First Lady about his enthusiasm for the ubiquitous hit "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It"):

Michelle Obama says, "Mr. President, you didn't tell Beyonce about 'Single Ladies'? Your rendition?"

"I'm not like Justin [Timberlake]" Obama says laughing, referencing the SNL spoof. "I didn't put on the outfit... [but} I didn't want my girls thinking that I couldn't, you know... I got a lil something."

And with that, he did the hand flip and added, "This part I get."

Two days later he again danced to Beyonce, along with wife Michelle, at his first inaugural ball.

Now, about that ever elusive Oscar................

NYC Bigot Baker Sells Racist Cookies, Allegedly Threatens President

You know, sometimes it's the seemingly blissful ignorance of some racist assholes, whom I've been constantly advised to ignore, that really kick up my shit. And the sheer audacity of this one in particular drove me to hit the keys so hard, I think a few of them popped out of the board.

Ted Kefalinos, proprietor of the so-called trendy (It was featured on Sex and the City!)Lafayette French Pastry in Greenwich Village, has created a cookie called Drunken Negro Head honor of the President. Okay, now before I start to rip, let me first tell you a story which will explain my initial distrust of any Trendy Bakery That Was Featured On Sex And The City!

Several years back, a friend of mine insisted that I do them a big favor a trek down to Bleeker Street in The Village and stand on a ridiculuously long line at the Magnolia bakery and procure a few cupcakes which were supposed to be the shit because it existed at a Trendy Bakery That Was Featured On Sex In The City! So I wait on line for about an hour, and then jet downtown with the precious cargo of cupcakes secured in a cute white box, tied with a cute colorful ribbon.

Soon after I arrived at my friend's house, we opened the box, and there they were; the cupcakes that every trendoid north of WeHo had cancelled pap smears, dental appointments and cancer biopsy appointments for in order to stand in line. After what seemed like endless anticipation, we both reached into the box for a precious treat and lifted it to our mouths. I realized after taking a big bite that I had been punked. The shit was not only stale, it tasted like dry sugar bomb. I pictured a 3 year old who had been experimenting with a recipe that consisted of a 20 year old bag of flour, a five pound box of sugar, Play Doh and dot candy, and then shoved the mess into an Easy Bake Oven. And I still, to this day, want the money back that I wasted on a Metrocard.

So fuck trendy bakeries.

Okay now, back to Ted, The Racist Asshole Baker. Supposedly, he casually asked a customer if she would like a Drunken Negro head with her coffee. And that like Lincoln, President Obama will get what's coming to him. After being interviewed by Fox 5 NY's Arnold Diaz, Ted, The Racist Asshole Baker increduously insisted, at length, that he did nothing wrong. I guess you'll just have to see the newsclip to believe it.

Fisrt Lady Michelle Obama Says Sasha and Malia Dolls "Inappropriate"

The First Lady has expressed her displeasure at the company that marketed dolls based on the names of First Daughters, Malia and Sasha. Ty Dolls has reiterated their claim that "There's nothing on the dolls that refers to the Obama girls," spokeswoman Tania Lundeen said. "It would not be fair to say they are exact replications of these girls. They are not."

It is mere coincidence, apparently, that the dolls, which bears the names of Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia surfaced soon after the inauguaration ceremonies. A spokesperson for Ms.Obama has released the following statement:

"We believe it is inappropriate to use young private citizens for marketing purposes,"

I previously posted an item on my skepticism about the dolls a couple of days ago.

Photo source: Huffpo

Beyonce Wants To Be Higher Edumacated

In this clip, Beyonce got all flustered and stuff as she struggled to articulate a concise thought to convey how she felt about singing at the Inaugural Ball. As she navigated through raw emotional waters, she gushed about her "emabarassment" at expressing said emotion, and her desire to be "more smarter" (good stuff!), I couldn't help but feel as if I was right there with her, wanting to help her throughout it all, wanting to save her. Then she lied. At one point she said, "You know, honesly, of course I voted before, but I never really watched the ceremonies". Now I was gonna leave this poor child alone, but then I came across this comment on a post over at Crunk + Disorderly:

"doesn't anybody remember destiny's child performing at bush's inaugration party? they were yelling "bush! bush! bush! texas! texas! texas!"

Why must she make it so easy? You sang at a inauguration ceremony before! A REPUBLICAN inauguration! For BUSH!!!!!!

Help me, Jeebus.

More Sasha Fierce News: Introducing - The Sasha Fierce Doll

First daughters Malia and Sasha Obama, who will from now on be referred to here as The Real Sasha Fierce here at Beezo Blue, have been immortalized as Beanie Babies. According to an article on The Huffington Post, the manufacturer, Ty,Inc. appears to cashing in on the girls' major popularity and influence. The dolls, named "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia." (I dunno, they kinda sound like stripper names to me) supposedly do not refer to President Barack Obama's daughters, a spokeswoman for the company says, and are part of a collection called "TyGirlz Collection." Yeah, note the "z", y'all. The Sasha doll has pigtails and wears a white and pink dress with hearts. The Malia doll has a side ponytail and a long-sleeve shirt with capri pants.
They also say they chose the names because "they are beautiful names," not because of any resemblance to Malia and Sasha Obama, said spokeswoman Tania Lundeen.

Read more about it here.

"There's nothing on the dolls that refers to the Obama girls," Lundeen said. "It would not be fair to say they are exact replications of these girls. They are not."
The dolls have bronze skin and "real doll hair," Lundeen said. They were introduced in early January and a limited supply has been shipped to retailers.

Girl Thinks, "Just You Wait And See...."

Although this timely photo has been making the rounds on the internets for a while now, I can't help but pull it up in reference to Bushie leaving the White House.

Now, more than ever, it begs for a caption. Or better yet, a fresh new perspective:

"You know what, you lying, warmongering sack of shit? I'm so on to you.

You must think all I do is plop down in front of the teevee, watching BET, and otherwise consuming endless hours of mindless crap like 106 And Park and memorizing Beyonce moves so's I can upload my homemade video of me imitating an epileptic snake with a beat weave, to the tune of "Single Ladies" onto You Tube, don't you?

And surely, you must think that my future aspirations are if not to grow up and become a tragic 15 minute famewhore contestant on Flavor Of Love, then it would be to commit myself to the humilation of being exploited by media pig Maury as he opens the envelope to determine the paternity of my baby for the 19th time and exclaim with sadistic glee, "You are NOT the father!", eh?

Well guess what? I know some things. I've been staying up late and sneak-watching that funny white guy on The Daily Show. Ooooo, and he said some stuff, too! And I been hearing my momma an' her friends talking about a black man named Obama. He's supposed to be real smart. They say he's like a messiah. And he is coming. For you, Mr. Prezzy-dent.

And I can't wait.

So don't even pretend to be nice to me. Cuz I ain't feeling you. One time, my momma said something to me that I couldn't understand, until now. She said that 'sometimes the truth lies in the eyes of a child'. And just as I can sense that the boogeyman is real, I know now what she meant. So just leave me alone and go away, 'cause I don't like you."

Yeah, I'll bet that was what she was thinking. Bye, Bye Bushie.

Fun With Craigslist

As you might know by now, Craigslist is the go-to place for everything you could possibly want or need to complete your life. Jobs, roommates, apartments, husbands, wives, crystal meth and crack-feuled sex romps with prostitutes of all varieties; you could even trade your iPod for getting your kitchen painted . It's all there.

And so, bored as I was of submitting 100 resumes to which no one ever responds (I think my emails must have begun to emmit the foul and unsettling stench of my panic and desperation after about the 38th request for an interview), I decided to wander over to Rants and Raves, which mostly contains the musings of borderline, and in some cases, full-fledged sociopaths. I found that wallowing in the cesspool of incessantly racist and misogynistic "observations" of pathetic souls can be not only entertaining, it really makes me feel better about myself when I'm feeling particularly low. Occasionally, I'll come across a piece of comedy gold, which explains the nasty picture at the top of this post. Believe me, once you read this, you'll agree that it's the best descriptive photo to accompany this entry:

APOLOGIES TO THE MUGGER LAST NIGHT IN CENTRAL PARK (Upper West Side)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: (Censored)
Date: 2009-01-15, 3:35PM EST


I was the white guy with the leather Yankees jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by some island looking bar, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of numbers from your cell. They'll be to see you about threatening our new president soon. I'm sure they have a few questrions about islamo-fascism for you... i think I mentioned guns. AT&T just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I also made some (like 93) threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out.

I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.

Peace!


I swear, this made my day. I hope it made you smile too.

Outrage In Oakland Over BART Shooting

If you haven't heard yet, Oscar Grant, a 22-year old unarmed black man, was killed in what witnesses describe as an execution- style shooting on New Year's Day by a BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) police officer who along with a group of his colleagues, were responding to reports of a 2 a.m. brawl involving a group of men at a train station in Fruitvale. The officer, Johannes Mehserle, 27, abruptly resigned after video of the shooting hit the airwaves and the internet prompting national attention. Days later, a group of 200 protesters, described by The San Francisco Chronicle as an angry mob, marched the streets of downtown Oakland smashing some store fronts and setting cars ablaze, resulting in 105 arrests. The gathering was in direct response to a long history of police brutality and their outrage over what is viewed as a racially motivated killing. But in doing so, a splinter group of demonstrators targeted black-owned businesses. In addition to a great post on the overall moving and meaningful vibe of the protest by Angel over at Concrete Loop, here's an excerpt from the SF Chronicle article I mentioned above:

The mob smashed the windows at Creative African Braids on 14th Street, and a woman walked out of the shop holding a baby in her arms.

"This is our business," shouted Leemu Topka, the black owner of the salon she started four years ago. "This is our shop. This is what you call a protest?"

Wednesday night's vandalism victims had nothing to do with the shooting death by a BART police officer of Oscar Grant on New Year's Day - but that did little to sway the mob.

"I feel like the night is going great," said Nia Sykes, 24, of San Francisco, one of the demonstrators. "I feel like Oakland should make some noise. This is how we need to fight back. It's for the murder of a black male."

Sykes, who is black, had little sympathy for the owner of Creative African Braids.

"She should be glad she just lost her business and not her life," Sykes said. She added that she did have one worry for the night: "I just hope nobody gets shot or killed."

Oakland Mayor and political legend Ron Dellums urged for calm. After joining and leading the crowd to City Hall, he then gave a speech, reiterating the need for a peaceful and rational display of civil disobedience:

"I sense your frustration," he told the crowd. "I understand that you've lost confidence in a process because you've seen what you believe is a homicide ... But listen to me, we are a community of people. We are civilized people. We are a nation of laws."
Dellums told protesters that he had asked the Oakland Police Department to investigate the shooting. "I have asked Oakland police to engage in a fair, parallel investigation, the way you'd investigate any homicide in Oakland," he said. "If that leads to an arrest, that's what it would lead to."

"I'm asking people to disperse," the mayor said to the couple hundred people in the crowd. "Let's leave in a spirit of peace."

Now I'm all for protesting against police brutality, especially in the East Bay (across the bay from San Francisco, where I've lived for 20 years), with its particularly troubling history of poverty and drug violence in some areas, including parts of Oakland and particularly Richmond, which went hand-in-hand with a police force with a history of brutality towards minorities. San Francisco, itself, has also had its share of problems as far as interaction betwen its police force and minority communities. But the problem I'm having with all of this is, while I agree with the protests, I also feel some disappointment in the protesters' misdirecting their anger as in this excerpt from the same article:

But soon after, a man shouted "that's the modern day lynching" and the mob quickly continued its rampage, smashing at least seven storefronts on 17th street between Franklin and Webster streets. They also smashed eight cars, including four belonging to the City of Oakland.

Near 14th and Alice streets, Myron Bell was taking dance lessons in "step," a form of dance popular among African Americans, when he looked out the window and saw people jumping on his Lexus sedan. Bell, 42, came out to find that almost all of the car's windows, including the front and back had been smashed and it appeared that someone had tried to set the car on fire."I'm for the cause," said Bell, who is black. "But I'm against the violence and destruction."

Nearby, Godhuli Bose stood near her smashed Toyota Corolla as a man walked by, repeatedly called her a misogynist slur and then added, "F- your car."
Bose, a high school teacher, said: "I can't afford this."

Which leads me to paraphrase Chris Rock's infamous rant about Black folks hating it when so-called n*ggers fuck shit up. Let's try and keep the focus here, people. Of course, there is always going be people who simply cannot control their righteous anger, and although it is in many cases justified, you must remember that the mainstream media is always going to focus on the violent aspects of our reactions. Especially what is deemed to be irrational violence.

The family of Mr. Grant has issued a statement through noted black attorney John Burris, who is reprensenting them in a $25 million claim against BART over his death. "This is a very Christian family that doesn't believe in fighting violence with violence," Burris said. "Oscar would not want that to happen in his name. Oscar was not that kind of person."

Yes, the shooting itself might appear to be an intentional act based on irrational fear, ignorance, or perhaps hate, and I'll try and hold off on passing any definitive judgement until I gather more facts, but in the meantime, let's listen to our leaders and get a grip. And no, I'm not saying we should suppress our outrage and not shout out our frustration against racial injustice from the rooftops. But to get it twisted and destroy the hard-earned rewards and efforts our own in the process is the height of stupidity, however small the percentage it is of those who do so.

You do know how the media do, right?

Here's the video of the shooting



Peace.

Baby Alive Is The Shit?

Although its been around for a couple of years, I'm just finding out via The Washington Post , that the latest version of Baby Alive, which is expected to be a big hit this season, poops, pees, and says phrases like, "I made a stinky", "What kind of f_cking mother are you? Why don't you stop sucking on that gin bottle and change me?! I've been walking around in this rotting, shitty diaper for so long, it's stuck to my ass!", and "Somebody call Child Protective Services!" But seriously, do little girls really need this level of realism when it comes to babies and being a mother?