Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day Special: Friday the 13th Part 12 - The Cold Heart of Crystal Lake


No apologies. I'm gonna come right out and admit that I'm a big fan of horror movies - the gorier, the better. Growing up in the 80's, I miss the danger and excitement of going to the movies on NYC's 42nd Street a.k.a The Deuce (fuck you Guiliani/Bloomberg) in the good old days where once, if you were so inclined, you could score the drug of your choice, a $20 "Ho Surprise" (back in those days, you didn't know what you was gonna get), a 40 in a brown bag, hit the games at Fascination or troll the peep shows, turn a trick at one of the hundreds of porn "palaces", get you some choice ass 12 inch singles from the record store in the A train station below 8th @ 42nd, or get your picture took in your best b-boy stance by the red tile wall - those who was there know what I'm talking about. At least it was interesting.
It's frustrating to experience the spectacle, forced elegance and sterilized version of what it looks like today, with its clueless, smug tourists and carpetbagging midwestern transplants who haven't the slightest clue that they wouldn't have lasted all of 5 minutes in the Times Square of yore. Y'all ain't really doing New York. Just check out one of my favorite blogs, ForgottenNewYork and you'll see what I mean. Best of all, back in those days, you could knock down 3 fitty for a triple pack of grindhouse/horror/karate flicks on The Deuce, and if you managed to navigate through the relentlessly sticky aisles and broken seats and got through all three flicks without getting your pockets cut out by a pickpocket or your ass sliced by a thirsty dope fiend lurking in the theater, you knew you was down.
Listen, I put up with Jason Goes To Hell, Freddy Vs Jason and Jason X , but it behooves me as to why somebody had the gall to remake or "re-imagine" a Deuce classic like the original Friday the 13th. I say re-imagine because this version is supposedly a mash up of FT13 parts II & III. Whatever. I'll probably go and check this out because it's supposed to have some choice kills, but I'm still kind of pissed. Call me a purist, but I miss the old school 70's/80's classiks like Sleepaway Camp, Autopsy, Maniac Cop, Last House On The Left (which is being remade by its creator, Wes Craven btw), The Power, The Beast Within, The Brood & It Came Without Warning, just to name a few. Back then, horror flicks didn't have a sense of humor, just straight up thrills. Hopefully, director Marcus Nispel's new version will restore my faith in horror movies that can still scare the shit out me.
I recently came across an article which listed a movie called Cold Heart of Crystal Lake as the 12th of the FT13 series. This short film was made by a fan of the series, director Joe Patnaud of Timberwolf Entertainment. Made on a budget of $250, it's pretty good, and a treat for all you blood hounds out there. Enjoy.

No comments: